A Strange Dream

I am a person whose dreams are normally realistic. I mean, the laws of physics still apply so I don't fly, falling hurts and I can only run at a normal speed. That said, I am not a person who often has what I would call 'symbolic' dreams. Those ones that have strange images and leave a mark on the next few days of your waking life. Well, last night I had one of those and since they are so rare, I deemed it worth recording and this blog seemed as good of a place as any. The atmosphere is dark, the sky looks red and black, like dusk during on a summer night when there is a forest fire uncomfortably close and the soot and fire light is making the clouds glow red. I'm standing in a huge flat field. I'm walking and the farther I walk, the more I can't help but notice that the ground is getting steep and something felt wrong. I look down. The ground isn't grass and it isn't dirt. The ground is made of bodies. For some reason I don't freak out, I just keep walking and soon the ground begins to slop upward with increasing steepness. I get to a point that appears to be a peak of sorts, in that I don't think the ground is getting any higher and I encounter someone who is still alive. He looks ragged and sad. I asked him what happened, which seems like the obvious question to ask at the time, although the answer was already clear. "A war, the last." was what the stranger told me. I look around and all that I can see is dead. Suddenly, I'm not there anymore, as though that part of a dream was only a vision. I still feel what I have seen, and realize at this point I am back to a point in time before the war. The only thing that I can think of is that I have to tell someone, anyone, EVERYone what I have seen. So I tell the first person I meet and he listens politely and tells me that there have been predictions of an apocalypse for as long as men have had a voice, and calmly disregards what I said. This goes on for a while with each person that I speak to having some different but equally nonchalant attitude as the first man. That's when it hit me. They were right, there have always been predictions like this. It seemed at that point that the only possible outcome for humanity, if were allowed to continue in the way that it has since the beginning of time, was one of self destruction. That it is only just a matter of time until those predictions prove true. At that point I wake up. So, I never said it was a happy dream, or a dream that made sense or a beautiful dream, but that was the dream. Once I was awake and tried to analyze what my subconscious mind had contrived, I realized that the only way to turn from that path is to be compassionate for your fellow man, to put them before yourself. This means even if they are a stranger. Do what you can to help them out in their times of need and if someone is hurtful towards you, the only correct response is one of love, for that man does not know what he is doing.

What Is Love?

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”

This is perhaps the most famous idea of what love is, and indeed, I have never seen or heard a more complete definition of what love should be. However there are some things in this passage that one does not see.
For one, love is passionate. This is something that the beginning of most relationships have in abundance, passion. With time however, the passion may fade and in the modern day and age, many take this as a sign to move on. I would like to emphasize on what a bad idea that truly is. As a relationship ages, those involved learn more of one another than perhaps they would even like. What's more, they learn more of themselves. They have a chance to reflect upon their actions in the best and the worst of situations. When someone fails to take this chance and use it to guide their future behavior is when a relationship will fail. Back to why sticking with it is so imperative. If one were to give up the moment that a realtionships falls upon hard times, as so many do these days, they will lose the chance to be a part of a relationship where both parties have grown together through the trials of life. If one looks at the cultures that still embrace the arranged marriage one can see that divorce rates are much lower than in the cultures where each person is encouraged to chose their own mate. Why? For the simple reason that in the cultures of choice, people think it's better to give up than to work on the relationship; to put in the time and energy required to make their relationship better than ever.
Another item missing from the famous biblical quote, in my mind (Please note I'm not trying to say I can improve upon God's word, only trying to express my own opinion), is Love is a choice. Above, I struck upon how in cultures of choice people abandon relationships far sooner than in cultures where their marriage was arranged by and older and supposedly wiser generation. Ultimately, after the passion of a new relationship fades, love is a choice. Sometimes the choice is an easy one, where it doesn't seem to be a choice at all. For instance, when I saw my wife holding our newborn son for the first time. At that moment there was no other feeling in my heart to chose from. At other times the choice is harder. It is in those situations that one must remember the times when love didn't feel like a choice, and remember why they chose love. When everything in you wants to give up, remember that the choice is yours to make. You can chose to display the traits of 1 Corinthians 13:4 and persevere.
In the end, remember that all relationships fall upon hard times. Life is full of challenges and without them what fun would it be. During those hard times, be strong, tell your wife you love her, and remind yourself and her why. It may be that she just needs to hear the words.

A Word on Gender Responsibilities

In this modern day and age the gender boxes of the past have been broken, the lines have been blurred and the the responsibilities of the mother and the father are no longer clearly defined. In the past, stay and home dads did not exist. That was the past. What about working moms? Today they are ubiquitous. I think there are many reasons for this. A family that doesn't share the burden of child rearing will not survive. This means moms sometimes have to work, dads sometimes have to cook or clean. Don't get me wrong, I think this is a good thing... mostly. The gender boxes of the past gave each parent a well defined role, a well defined sense of responsibility. A mother who stayed home to raise the children did not feel a need to bring in money in order to feel like a contributing piece of the family. She knew that what she was doing every day in the home was her contribution. This is not so today. A modern woman seems to think that they need to be bringing in money, to be equal to a man. I understand the need to feel independent, but independence is not what marriage and family is about, it is about inter-dependence. In my eyes, a mother should feel as much pride in her job at home as a man does with his in the workplace. The opposite is true as well, if a man is a stay at home dad, he should feel pride in what he does and no shame that it is his wife that is bringing in the income. The modern person needs to take pride in their contribution to the family, not worry about what the societies of the past said about the responsibility of their respective gender. This is a brave new world we live in, one in which there are single dads and single moms, working moms and stay at home dads. Embrace the present and prepare for the future.

Preface and Context

This blog is one mans forum for opinion. I look forward to hearing people responses to what I have to say, for without that there is no chance to question one's self. Don't expect discussions on the same topic each post or even anything worth reading. Most of all, read it, think about it, respond to it. I look forward to your thoughts.