It has recently come to my attention just how heated a debate over corporal punishment can become and just how widely people's views can differ. I'm going to begin this by asking the reader to do something for me. If you agree with the idea of spanking a child, focus on the reasons you choose to spank. Not the triggers that cause you to spank a child, but your intent, your reason for spanking. Hold that intention in your mind.
Now that you have your intention in focus, I am guessing that the word respect is found somewhere in your explanation. Lately, a lot of misunderstanding has been clouding the idea of what respect is and should be. People tend to confuse fear and respect. This is easy to do since on the surface they seem to result in similar behavior. A person who respects another will attempt to adhere to the words and respond to the requests of the one they respect. Respect is born of love, and the one experiencing it is in an active, positive mind space. This means that a respectful person they will choose to continue behaving in the desired way even in your absence. Fear elicits a similar response from a person only the different source of the behavior changes it's value tremendously. A person responding out of fear may appear respectful, but they are acting out of self preservation and it places them in a passive, negative mind space. Such a person will not continue to behave the same way in the absence of that which they fear.
Let's return to the reason why spanking is acceptable to you if it is. If the word respect is in there remember what that word means. Really think about what respect is as opposed to fear. How does the act of hitting a child help them to reach a loving, respectful understanding of your intention? Being hit causes one to react with the base emotions of fear and anger. Those emotions close one off from understanding and push away rational thought. Think about the last time you chose to spank your child, then focus on how you were feeling at the time you made the decision to do it. You were probably angry.
Many choose to defend corporal punishment using the bible as a basis for their support of it. A close look at mentions of punishment in the bible shows that most references come from the book of Proverbs. Proverbs is an Old Testament book written by King Solomon. Before we take parenting advice from this man, let's review his character. Solomon had, according to the Bible, 700 wives and 300 concubines. This was in opposition to law at the time which said Kings should not accumulate wives and horses. That very law highlights another difference between then and now. Women and horses are not in the same category any more. He built temples to gods other than Yahweh, which might be seen as an act of religious tolerance but in the context of Christianity it was a grievous offence for which God struck him down into disgrace. His son was subsequently refused as king. His kingdom split after his passing. Nevertheless, when he says one should use the "rod" to discipline one's children people take it as fact. Even though no one would dare cane their children these days. I'm going to leave this particular topic now, but scrutiny and the application of modern reality is required when interpreting 2000 year old proverbs.
In this life as we choose our actions we must be mindful of our intent. With each action one performs there is a desired result. Often times without being mindful of that we choose to act in ways detrimental to our goals. I ask that you review your reasons for spanking and refrain from using the fact that previous generations have done it as reason enough to continue. Really focus on your goal for the act of spanking. Now think of alternative actions that will help you reach that goal. Thank you for reading. I hope your lives are filled with peace and compassion.
